my baby brother was really upset so
he was crying
until he realized he was taking selfies on my laptop
Best post on tumblr omg
I live in constant fear of being shit on by a bird
today i saw a scene couple in the hallway at school and the girl literally stopped kissing him so she could scratch his face and meow into his ear and he barked back i do not pay taxes for this shit
mom can i borrow $100,000 please i’ll give u it back when im rich and famous
I can hear my upstairs neighbor peeing sometimes and when I do, I tap on the ceiling and say, “It sounds like somebody’s staying hydrated,” and he calls the landlord and complains.